Friday, December 11, 2009

Meh, f*ck the journal idea...

...I always second guess myself when I need help. I will drop everything to help other people at the expense of my own needs, but I really suck at asking for help. That's part of why I get really upset when my provider tells me to wait a few days and call him back. I don't ask for help unless I'm really, really having a problem. My therapist gets it, and of course told me to just call him. So...even though the idea of journaling my meds experiences is a good one, in this case, I really just needed to make the call, so I did. What was hilarious was getting an assistant on the phone who when she picked up, started "leaving a message" because she got confused about what line she was on and thought she was leaving a message!

I can relate sister!

Anyway...I hope when he calls me back he'll just give me a prescription for something else. Yeah, I know I'm busy and don't need this right now, but I also can't really function effectively when people think I'm on quaaludes and I can't remember how to get to my office, which is a mile from my house.

And now I'm going to go contact my professors, one of whom is being a hard ass about me turning in my last assignment, even though all semester he's been going "oh hey, don't worry about it, take all the time you need!". This is the disadvantage of distance learning. This class is one where he can't see all he sees is that I can type articulately. He doesn't see me looking doped up and unable to stay awake, nevermind think.

I want to be done with school so badly. I hate school. I'm glad I did it but it's seriously a ridiculous torture obstacle course and I need to be done with it and I literally cannot finish my work right now...this dragging on is just stomach turning.

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