Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Big Day...

...Sonny Rollins and I are getting married this weekend. Oh YES we are. We are forming an ADHD SUPERUNION!

My ADHD secret for making your wedding NOT insane? Get as much done ahead of time as you can...and as the day gets closer, just nix stuff that's stressing you out. It's not worth it to wig yourself with the little stuff at the end. And as Sonny keeps saying, no matter what happens that day, we still end up married, and that's the important part.

We're excited, our families are excited, the kids are excited. It's possible that the dogs and cats are excited but they're just not letting on.

Sonny and I are both getting our hair did the day before...oh, there's a story...

Okay, so about two weeks ago, suddenly a bunch of stuff that we'd put in place ages ago started to fall apart. The bartender was a total douche and quit, for literally no reason. THEN, the band figured out that they'd overbooked themselves because two band members didn't talk to one another about booking. Then my dress turned green. I'm not joking. Because the bartender quit, we now had to figure out our own liquor order at the last minute. Let's see, what else...a series of unfortunate financial events, that was grand. We went to get a marriage license and city hall told us we needed a CERTIFIED copy of his divorce we went to the Court and it was closed...and after we finally got said certified copy, we went back to get the license and their printer at City Hall wasn't working! There were several other small disasters, but you get the idea. THEN, the big one: Sonny's sweet grandfather died. Again, not joking. Been healthy for 85 years and sadly, he fell ill and never recovered.

Which brings us to last night...when I realize that the wedding hair appointment that I'd set 6-8 weeks ago was at the same time as his grandfather's funeral. I didn't realize it sooner because I can't find my iPhone and hence my calendar is out of sight, out of mind. Cue the laugh track (not) as I call Sonny to say "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I don't think I can go to the funeral because I have to have my hair done". D'oh. My hair person books WAY out. WAY out.

We were not in a happy space last night. This was the last kick in the ass that we were able to tolerate. I really wanted to go to the funeral, and Sonny certainly wanted me to come. And I did not want his family, who is just meeting me, to think of me as "the girl that didn't bother to show up for grandpa's funeral because she had to have her hair done". To clarify, this is not a wedding updo issue, this is an "I have inch-long black roots in my nearly white blonde hair and haven't had a haircut in 8-weeks" issue. I know, vanity...but when you're having 250 guests, press, and a photographer you are paying to memorialize it all, suddenly hair seems like something you want to look halfway decent. I'm no bridezilla, Sonny can confirm...but dammit, this was a bad combo of events.

I contacted my hairdresser and weirdly, she had openings for BOTH of us to go, the day before the wedding. We went to the funeral and truly, it was a nice day, a lovely funeral, and a terrific way to get to know his family, since we all convened afterward. I'm SO glad I went.

The great part about all of these disasters is that each time one has popped up, something better has popped up to replace it.

If I had less respect for the wheel of chance, I would re-name this blog "The Charmed Life of 18Channels".

So Friday night, we get to spend together, relaxing, doing nothing more than chatting and getting hair-cuts.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Letting a General Practitioner prescribe psych meds... like letting an 4-year old-drive an 18-wheeler. Unfortunately many psychiatrists and psych NP's aren't much better, but at least when letting a 14 year-old drive they can at least reach the pedals. There's often still an element of experimentation but they can operate the basic machinery.

I cannot be strong enough in my opposition to GP's prescribing psych meds. GP's are not specialists. As such, they are more likely to rely on "guidelines" from the FDA to prescribe psych meds.

The FDA often says it's just dandy to give a 100 lb woman the same dosages of medications as a 200 lb man. Which in my experience is about as subtle as a stroke.

Additionally, GP's are not generally sitting around reading the latest psychiatry journals, and unfortunately for women with ADHD, whose participation as subjects in research studies is only very recent, that's very bad. We have not been studied, and are treated according to guidelines based on male subjects. Anecdotal evidence seems to suggest that at the very least, female hormones make the experience of ADHD far different at times for men than for women, and that taking that into account may make treatment more effective. However, if even baseline prescribing is clumsy, such subtleties are unlikely to be taken into account.

So not only is allowing GP's to prescribe psych meds just plain crazy, it's also just plain sexist. And by sexist, indeed, I mean institutionally-sanctioned policy that favors one gender over another, passively or otherwise.

Yeah...I went there. And I'm not sorry, because frankly I'm sick and tired of watching people (of both genders) around me get fucked by inelegant prescribers, and watch useful medications get a bad reputation over it.

Medications, prescribed by a psychiatric professional who conscientiously tries to stay current on the subtleties of modern practice, and takes my opinion and knowledge into account, has been an adventure for sure (because of my own biological quirks) but has given me invaluable perspective on what drugs can and can't do, and the ability to make decisions about when and where to use them, to improve the quality of my life.

I will never allow a GP to prescribe psych meds to me without first referring me to a psych provider. Never.