Friday, February 24, 2012

More extreme measures to ensure attendance...

This week, I had a board meeting to attend. Last week, our boss reminded us that we had this board meeting, at the weekly staff meeting. I wrote it down in my calendar.

It was a Monday, when she reminded us. And I remember her saying "we have a board meeting Wednesday, make sure that's on your calendars".  She also said "oh that's right, the meeting is earlier this month because of..."...some scheduling issue. But the meeting is usually the third Weds of the month...the week we were having the meeting in was the second week of the brain just collected the information. Because...that's sometimes how my brain rolls. The information is there, just floating around in my head. I'm fully aware of both pieces of information. But they don't connect...until they connect. This is why I write things down.

By the next day, Tuesday night of last week, I was still worrying about which Wednesday she'd been talking about. The one "tomorrow" or the one next week.

I decided that although I had the meeting on my calendar for "next week" I would show up for "tomorrow".

So I did. I was a week early. I don't know how, but my calendar was correct. There must have been more information given at the meeting that I was able to recall.

Better a week early than a week late, I say.

When I think about it, anyone with any kind of brain could have been confused...but because of the ADHD factor, I didn't want to take chances. I didn't know if my calendar was correct or if I had mixed up the information. I think that's one of the keys to succeeding at anything with ADHD (really, it's important for anyone...but a little extra important for the quirkily-brained): double checking and erring on the side of responsibility, even if it means you do something silly once in a while. Because at least you will do it silly early, not silly late.

It's also important not to go around thinking you're right all the time. I know plenty of people with ADHD who succeed in life. The ones that don't are the ones that put things off until later, think they're right more of the time than they should (even though experience should tell them otherwise), don't trust outside sources, and don't double-check things. Yes, you can go overboard in compensating...only practice will help you find the balance. Practice with a good therapist as a guide is even better...

Monday, February 20, 2012

So I'm just sitting here because I'm afraid I'll forget...

...I missed my last appointment with my therapist because...well duh, because I have ADHD. I had done everything I usually do to remember. Normally my little tricks works and I get there. It was a horrible feeling when the phone rang and she asked where I was.

It literally felt like I'd entered some kind of time warp and had no idea I was supposed to be anywhere even though I'd been reminding myself all day. It was terribly confusing, having actually forgotten, to have her calling me and it was very frustrating because of course I remembered then that I'd been trying not to forget all day...but hadn't remembered the appointment anyway.

So my appointment was tonight...and though there's an hour between when I'm supposed to go and when I got home from work, I don't want to "do" anything because I'm afraid I'll forget again.

I'm going to go put my shoes on and sit in the car for another ten minutes so I make sure I don't forget (of course...I'll probably be sitting there in the car and suddenly think to myself...wait...why am I in the car again?)...

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Nacho Bitch

If you're curious about the title, I'll spare you the suspense: Nacho Bitch is my not-so-far-removed alter ego. She ain't takin' no shit. And she made me write this blog post.

It's been an issue recently, shall we say, that my work has been undervalued in some extremely...shall we say...offensive ways. And Nacho Bitch and I are DELIGHTED. Because this is what we call a gift in a crap package.

Gifts like this allow you to reaffirm your commitment to yourself. They allow you to really confirm if you have your shit as together as you think you do. They allow you to really walk your own talk. And this gift couldn't be more perfectly timed.

I just resigned from my day job - which was absolutely the right thing to do. It took me longer to make the decision, due to my now larger household and my immense sense of responsibility, but Sonny and I were fully in agreement and I finally did what I needed to do.

I'm cultivating some opportunities now that I'm really proud of, and which are a good fit for me in all my quirky glory.

I choose to believe that it's no mistake that I have now been faced with some challenges to my resolve. Call it coincidence, call it magical thinking...but I'm delighted either way.

This week I had a debtor contact me re: my event production business and telling me he's ready to make things right...and that we shouldn't let a little amount of money like this get in the way. I knew that I should let that one sit in the inbox for a bit before responding. I couldn't "feel the bottom" of my thoughts on that one immediately. After a few days, I was hit by that particular punch in the gut that only lowballing can give you...a sense of brief dread when you realize that the question itself was an attempt at devaluing your labor, followed by a "you've got to be fucking kidding me" scrolling past my mind's eye on repeat...and flashing..flashing bright red.

Asshole. And so...I'm going to respond...naturally...with an invoice.

Then there was the request from an outlet that I have done paid work for in the past...asking me to work for free. Mmmm...tastes like another lowballing. The flavor is indeed, kind of like chicken but smells more like bullshit.

The other major boner of the week is one that I can't actually even refer to obliquely for a variety of reasons but it did confirm for me some suspicions that I already had - and honestly, it only confirmed for me that I already made the right decision in relation to the question at hand.

So Nacho Bitch and I are like "really? you're joking, right? three times in one week? and you think we can't...oh girl, get outta the way...". Bring it on. Seriously. Nacho Bitch and I are ready. We have a mortgage to pay, we work hard, and if you EVEN try "but the economy sucks" we'll be happy to discuss how your economy of lowballing people to get things you need is like, a totally outdated shade of unethical.

Bring. It. On.