4am my time...

Almost dawn is a perfect time to announce:

I just finished the all-time worst assignment of my entire grad school career. It has been sucking my soul out for WEEKS. It brought me to the edge of reason a few times. And yet I could not graduate without it.

I finished it. It's done. All other assignments in the next 10 days will PALE in comparison.

I'll still be grumpy about finishing them too...but this fucker...Jesus...this one was bad.

And now...it's DONE.

I love that guy...

Who wouldn't love a guy that takes his Easter candy so seriously....

The Mouth

I embody a certain unfortunate combination of ADHD and personality.

Personality: I'm a little obsessed with justice. Not vengeance. Justice. Fairness. That kind of thing.

Add ADHD: Things come out of my mouth when I'm thinking them. And if I think something is just plain wrong, the chances of it coming out of my mouth immediately, and with articulate impact, are tripled.

Combine the two and you have: a person who is frequently thanked for saying things that other people don't really want to hear. But when they thank you, they're not usually particularly thrilled with you. They appreciate you...and they respect you...they might even love you...but right then, they don't really like you very much, even if they might agree with just a morsel of what you're saying. Even if you've tried to be clear that you respect their point of view.

Sorry, Sonny.

He says he loves me because I'm that kind of person...and he does. But I don't think he liked it just then...

Sigh.

I need a few things today...

...yes, I do.

I need an air pump for my soul. Breakfast in bed...after the tummy ache I've had for a few days goes away. A magnet to draw me toward my office. A spare 36 hours. Rose-colored glasses. A smile. A winning lottery ticket.

This is just a complementary list. I already have a lot of cool stuff. A delicious man that loves me. Pets that seem to like me even though I won't feed them 8 times a day. Income. Lots of wacky good times. Three borrowed children that have enlightened me on many important subjects (SPONGEBOB DOES NOT HAVE A BROTHER!) and entertained me with their kid-logic. An eccentric family held together by a lot of love. Loyal friends who like me the way I am. The basics: food, shelter, etc. Amazing projects and plans unfurling more beautifully than expected and far ahead of schedule.

But somehow, I just can't seem to drag myself out of bed this morning. Every endurance race has its unbearable moments I suppose. This is one of those moments...where my accomplishments are substantial enough to warrant pride, but not completion. Where you've hit a hill at mile 19 and think you might die.

Prior experience tells me this is not so. I won't die. I have pushed myself past this point enough times to know that, at least. But I just want to climb back in bed. Oh wait, I haven't left the bed yet...ha....

Didn't get to the big homework...

...but I did get a crap ton of other stuff done, including the little homework, so that I can smack that homework upside the head tomorrow.

Practicing my wind-up right now...can you hear the whirring sound?

90 pages of documentation...

...I've set an unofficial goal for myself of trying to get EVERYTHING done for the semester this week. It's kind of unrealistic but I know that even if I attempt it, I'll still get a lot done.

So I just turned in 90 pages of documentation for one course, which basically finishes that one off.

HOT. DA-YUM.

Tonight when I get home from work I have another pile to school and turn in. This is starting to get compelling...

9 hours of sitting...

...oh yes, 9 hours. I took my grad comp exams yesterday and it involved 2.5 hours of driving...followed by a 4 hour essay exam...followed by 2.5 more hours of driving.

I have to thank the manufacturers of Concerta for helping me not go completely insane. I also have to say that about half way through the exam I was orbiting in the hypersphere...but I finished the exam. I REALLY enjoy writing, so this isn't the worst testing format for me, but the 2/5 hours of driving on either side was really something special.

However...as I said...I did finish.

A few loose ends and I'm free....