How Does an ADHDer Plan A Wedding?

Okay before I answer this question, I have to fully disclose that one of my jobs involves planning events for a living.

But the question still applies, how in the hell DOES an ADHDer plans events.

There are several parts to the answer:

1) I start WAY AHEAD OF TIME. WAAAAAAAAAY ahead of time...

2) Whether or not I have the luxury of starting WAAAY ahead of time, I aggressively pursue the boring details FIRST. The boring details are what give you the framework to hang the fun stuff on. If you do the boring shit at the beginning, when you are still super enthusiastic, it's easier to make phone calls about equipment rentals, solicit vendor quotes, and other tasks that become NOT interesting quickly.

3) Have a system for storing information that both works for you, AND cues you to complete tasks. I have different systems depending on the task...when I'm doing my "work", which involves organizing an at least 25 vendor marketplace on a weekly basis, I use my email box to cue me. Unread messages stay in the inbox until I read them...read emails get filed into clearly marked folders. Things I need to DO stay in the inbox or are printed out and taped to my desk/steering wheel/anywhere else I'll be sure to see it.

Sometimes I use notebooks with explicitly marked folders.

Post-It's are a must.

My iPhone is a lifesaver...it contains my calendar (NEVER wait until LATER to put something on your calendar) and I set ALARMS to remind me to do important things.

When I'm at the law office I have a file organizer that stands the files upright so I can SEE all of the name tags on the files, which reminds me to check out what's going on with certain cases. I also have a policy that I must go through everything in the pile on my desk EVERY DAY to make sure there's nothing important that I forgot. The pile is only for things that I know are coming up quickly.

And seriously, we just go through the files in the cabinet from time to time to look in them and make sure we didn't accidentally miss something. This is something you can put on a calendar or post-it to remind yourself to do.

4) Hire someone or find an intern to help you with the things you know you'll never do. I have a friend that I pay to do my bookkeeping periodically, because I will NEVER do my bookkeeping (though I AM good at keeping receipts and things...organizing myself to do that was enough of a chore, I didn't need the data entry on top of it!). I have an assistant...aka another friend who helps me with certain tasks for just 3 hours a week.

Personally, I think that event planning is super ADHD friendly, as long as you know your own limitations.

I'm pretty boring lately...

...because I'm just trudging through this last bit of grad school. (Other than the planning an ADHD wedding thing...more on that in future posts!)

But I'll tell you who's never boring: my extended family. If I have time to write novels, I would have plenty of fodder right there. Plenty of ADHD-inspired fun and games for a series...

Was just talking to an uncle about his current goings on and it reminded me of all the funny stories we have thanks to our quirky gene pool. I come from a long line of people who are smart and capable but...just can't seem to reign in certain IMPULSES shall we say, and just can't seem to stay interested in much of anything for more than about a minute at a time. We move fast, but we bring the action!

Much of my extended family works in jobs or careers that allow them to be in different places all the time, or to move around between departments or tasks or...whatever. A few are just plain nomadic.

A story that another uncle told me one time made me wonder though...apparently, my great-grandmother, who was native-american, used to ride in a wagon between the Northeast and the Midwest with her family, going from one family place to another, depending on the time of year.

Eh?

So...I'm literally descended from nomads...and many people in our family certainly fit the criteria for ADHD diagnosis...hmmmmm.....

Why yes, that IS a big gnome shaped pencil holder...

Oh that thing on my hand? That's just my gorgeous, giant, custom-made garnet engagement ring from Sonny Rollins.

Cut back to the gnome pencil holder though...'cause I fuckin' love that thing!

I would spend more time looking at it except that I think I love the engagement ring even more so I keep staring at IT instead...and I love Sonny Rollins even more than both of them combined :) If he was here I would totally stare at him all googly and disgusting-like...

ADHD-style, we're getting married this summer. You see, because the ring is custom-made, I knew it was on its way...and I knew we didn't have much time...so...we already have venue/dress/circus/african drumming troupe/band/cake/photographer/meeting with an accountant to make sure the ADHD twins aren't digging themselves into a hole, allll taken care of.

Nope nobody's preggers. Thank goodness...do we think the ADHD twins really need FOUR children under the age of 8? We certainly don't!

Do we need more lovely evenings curled up in our leetle New England bungalow in a fuzzy blanket while he plays his guitar and swears at chords that are better arranged on piano than guitar? Yes, yes we do. Do we need more cooking delicious things together and listening to jazz between smoochings in the kitchen? Mmmmm yes. Do we need more moments of insane child logic breaking up the monotony (generated by both children AND adults)? Well we may as well embrace what cannot be stopped ;)

I love you Sonny Rollins...I loved you at "geez, he's cute". I loved you at "damn, he's got great taste in sneakers too". I loved you at "I like to listen to a lot of, um, weird jazz". I loved you at "YOU have ADHD and an anxiety disorder!? ME TOO!!!". I loved you on date number one when you said "I should probably tell you that I'm married, but let me explain.". I loved you when you showed me a certain serendipitous tattoo that made me think that either I had lost my mind or the universe was playing a REALLY weird trick on me, and you had no clue. I love you at "oh look, he's smiling at me while I'm losing my ADHD mind for a minute". I love you at "shit, I never should have put my W-2 in a SAFE place!".

I could go on and on but...y'all get the idea...if you hadn't already. Let's hear it for LOOOOVE :) And gnomes!