Sonny Rollins and I Hit The Oscar Parties

I get a little obsessed with Oscar viewing parties because quite frankly there aren't a lot of good reasons to get REALLY DRESSED UP around here and I like to take advantage of them.

Hence the dress I mentioned in a previous post...it was a great ADHD hyperfocus project. I got it done in approximately 16 hours. Made from repurposed taffeta curtain from Walmart!

All photos by me, but for the actual "Oscar" photo, by Scott Bulger. I love being on Sonny Rollins' arm...he's a terrific date.

ADHD Boy Has Started Reading the Blog!

Quick! Clean your rooms! Hide your shoes and slippers! Get the ping pong balls out of the toilet! Hide the hookers in the basement! He's here!

ADHD Boy has been reading...and he's not so sure about that nickname, so I guess I'd better pick another one, because "the boyfriend" is...well...it's just booooring. And we don't do booooooring around here.

ADHD Boy suggested something that I can't post because it's too crass even for me. I suggested "Captain Fantastic". Harhar.

He's a jazz musician though. I think he should be...(spinning roulette wheel in my head of all of his favorite musicians...)...Sonny Rollins!

From now on, ADHD Boy, the artist currently known as "the boyfriend" shall be known as Sonny Rollins. Sonny's still alive so hopefully he won't come after us and put some kind of jazz-sax-voodoo-hex on us...

BRING ON THE CHAOS

Okay, that's it, I've had it with all of this organization and lack of chaos in my life...I NEED SOME EXCITEMENT. Now how am I going to get it without doing something "bad".

I'm gonna have to think about that. I should probably disclose that I didn't take my Concerta today. Haha. Ma leg is bouncing and my dog is driving me insane (go chew on some animal bi-products and quit doing the whimper-chuckle noise!).

I did order some new shoes today...but that didn't do the trick. Even though one pair is BLUE and the other pair has SEQUINS.

If my poor boyfriend was here I would start poking him and grabbing him and dancing around the kitchen talking his head off...which he strangely seems to find calming and amusing. Direct quote "the sound of your voice relaxes me". This from a dude with anxiety. I said "you're a lucky man then, because you're going to hear it a lot".

Okay I'm going to try a REALLY ANNOYING experiment...crack open a can of Diet Coke...and try focusing all of this energy on my work pile.

(THE DOG REALLY NEEDS TO STOP MAKING THE WHIMPER-CHUCKLE NOISE, GAAAAAH! Maybe I'll split the Diet Coke with him???)

Fearless Blogger

I just noticed that I have a follower here named "The Fearless Blogger" and that's got me thinking (Hi "Fearless Blogger" and sorry to use your name as a jumping off point without warning you first! Let's just chalk it up to ADHD inspiration.).

Blogging really IS terrifying. It's not really anonymous, and it's only really good if you're really sharing yourself in a genuine way. Sharing one's self in that way isn't always easy...some days, I just don't write, because I just can't go there. Some days I have to edit out details I'd way rather leave in...but that's always for the protection of others, not myself. Other days, as you know, thanks to ADHD and my otherwise exuuuuuberant personality, I just can't stop until I've cranked out a good 2-3 posts. But that doesn't mean it's "easy" to get that personal, it just means that whatever it is that I need from sharing the information is more important to me just then than my privacy. (Or I haven't taken my Concerta and I'm monologuing on the screen, lol...).

I think that if blogging doesn't scare, or at least challenge you a little, then you shouldn't be doing it.

Maybe that's why I like it so much...it's my own little ADHD thrillseeking routine...the fears reminds me I'm alive and wakes up my brain...and makes me think. And keeps me writing...pause.

Classic. Timeless. ADHD.

So yesterday I was supposed to go to a nutrition seminar with my sister. This was a very big deal. She used to cancel plans a lot when we would make them ahead of time. So I stopped making them ahead of time. And for a while it's been one thing after another where she asks me to do something cool that I would actually love to do, but because it's at the last minute and I'm insanely busy, I can't go.

So a couple week ago, she asks me about this seminar, and I say yes, and I put it on my calendar.

All last week and all day yesterday I'm talking to people about how I'm going to this seminar.

At 6.

Um...I work until 6 on Tuesdays. Um. As I closing the shop, my sister is texting me going "I'm waiting for you outside the house, where ARE you, we're late!?".

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

I really can't tell you what I was thinking. It was on my calendar. Work was also on my calendar (EVERYTHING is in my calendar or NOTHING gets done). I looked at it 100 times that day. I looked at it 100 times the day before to make sure I had it on there for the right day, to make sure I didn't miss it.

I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. All day I had this vision of how I was going to have plenty of time at the end of the work day to go to my sisters house, play with the dogs, and then go to the class.

Oh wait, I wasn't in the Twilight Zone, I was in my own ADHD brain :) If you are a non-ADHDer and you are reading this...please know, I'm a really smart person, who is really really organized. But when your damn brain misfires like that...? WTF can you do?!

Frustrating. Sister wasn't thrilled. We got there 20 mins late. I'm glad we went, I was just sad about disappointing her. I explained what happened (uh, OH SHIT, ADHD SUCKS! I'm sorry!) but...she was disappointed, I could tell. She'd even called me and texted me earlier in the day to make sure I was on my shit. "Of course" I told her "I'm looking forward to it!" because I really was.

Sigh.

I think the problem was...I started this part time job on Thursdays from 10am to 4pm. I've been there for over a year. Only a couple of months ago we added the Tuesday shift, which goes from 12pm-6pm. In my brain I was thinking "I'm at the shop, that means I'm done at 4".

It often takes my brain a while to catch up with a change in routine...and of course it takes MONTHS to create routines that work for me in the first place. Even a small change is confusing for me...which is why I'm SO meticulous about putting things on my calendar. Which I check all the time. But which doesn't display end times on calendar items...gah...mayeb there's a way to make it do that, I need to check....

Why all this worry about ADHD!

Clearly, if you are still worrying about your ADHD, you haven't gotten the memo. The memo that in America, if you aren't pretty, you're worthless. That if you're actually intelligent, you'll be harassed or ignored. That if you're pretty AND smart, intelligence cancels out pretty. It's like rock paper scissors. Pretty matters more than anything.

So here we are sitting around wondering if our ADHD is going to make our lives suck or not...but what we should REALLY be worried about is...the fact that most of us just aren't pretty. Or if we are we may not be pretty in the way that, you know...matters.

So...I'm gonna stop taking my ADHD medication, get a boob job (they ARE kinda small, sigh), grow my hair long, flush my sense of style down the toilet, and start memorizing Sarah Palin quotes that I find online. Because there IS one more thing that's pretty important, and that's funny, and whether she does it on purpose or not, that b*tch is funny as hell.

(Is it just me though, or does it seem like if Sarah tool some ADHD drugs she might not blurt out some of her funniest quotables? Hmmmm....ANYWAY...off to practice my peanut-butter wave...and learn how to be slutty, but not toooooo slutty...since I'll never be pretty enough, in the right way and my brains only get me funny looks!)

"You sure forget a lot of things..."

Okay, so the boyfriend's kids are onto me. I forget stuff. All the time. The kids ask "why do you have so many dog leashes" I say "Because I forget them all the time so I have extras.".

And that's a common answer in my world.

"Where's your phone?" I forgot it.

"Where's your keys?" I'm not sure.

"Where's the dog?". Nope, didn't forgot the dog, left him at home on purpose so you guys can't harass the poor little guy today with your boundless enthusiasm ;)

So yesterday the kids...one of whom has just been diagnosed with ADHD and the next in line sure to follow...commented that I sure forget a lot of things. And for a split second I wanted to say "welcome to life with ADHD". But...instead I said "you're right...I do".

Some realities people just have to accept from themselves. And children...they'll figure out their limitations soon enough, I'd rather encourage their strengths.

Last week the 3-year old reminded me "Don't forget your lunch.".

Their strengths seem to include keeping ME organized.

You know...it's worth noting though, that the 3-year old is also the current reigning champion at the "Silent In The Car Game". He who stays quiet the longest wins. Twice yesterday, while his older brother and sister punched, pinched and tickled each other into losing the game together, giggline uncontrollably to the point of hysteria, the lil' guy sat there in his car seat with a smug, intentional, adorable and SILENT smile on his face. The superpower of hyperfocus at work? Or perhaps number three escaped the magic ADHD genes...? Hmmmmm...time will sort that out if it becomes relevant...in the meantime, kid makes a mean PBJ.