Wednesday, December 16, 2009

18 Channels, meet Concerta; Concerta, 18 Channels...

Now that the Mirtazapine experiment seems to be working and my anxiety level is under control, we are trying a new stimulant, just to see if it sits with me a little better. I really want to try something that lasts 4-6 hours so I can steer myself a little more manually and try to cap my workaholism. When you take a stimulant that keeps you buzzing along for 10-14 hours it makes you reaaaaaally productive and honestly, I don't need help in that department. I need something that will help me to have a nice, normal schedule, something that will allow me to practice choosing to relax (although the Mirtazapine on its own is very convincing, I have to say, lol...I feel awesome...relaxed, but not loopy. You know, like a "normal" person?).

However...I think my prescriber wants to try another long-acting one on me just to see if I like it better than the Vyvanse. Incidentally, I just want to say that in general, I highly recommend trying Vyvanse if you're looking at trying a stimulant. It's smooooooth like butter, you feel it kick in, but I didn't feel it wear off at all, I would just gradually notice that I was feeling maybe less focused...and it made me feel nice and calm and focused at first. I think I sort of metabolised it into submission though. Who knows...anyway, I liked it, but it wasn't working anymore in the way I needed to it.

Next up is Concerta. I'll try it tomorrow morning. Fortunately I'll be at my retail job so if something goes haywire, I won't be writing Motions or other court filings of any kind, lol...just handling money...mooohahahaha...

I have to say this about both of my sets of employers...I have been able to be totally honest and open with them about the fact that I take medication for mental health reasons. There's something to be said for just being a good employee. (Also something to be said for having one boss who is likely an undiagnosed ADHDer, with a child who displays all the signs, and another boss who used to be an elementary school teacher who one day asked me point blank , with all the love in the world, "were you an ADD kid?".) I am not a conventional employee, but one of my ways of apologizing to the world for my unconventiality is the fact that I will work my ass to the bone to do a good job, and I will always admit my fuckups. These two things have helped me to build trust with my on a few occasions when I've been feeling a little wiggy around the edges, they're totally cool.

I'm thankful, truly.

We'll see how this's probably be 1,000 widget focus all over again...oh how I love thee, oh 1,000 widget focus...!

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