I was really angry at my dad's employees this week, at this point all of them FORMER employees because as of last week, the last batch either quit or were fired. On days like this, suddenly I can see that I would way rather have ADHD than a tragic lack of work ethic.
I understand that he can be baffling to work for, precisely because he has ADHD. (he is not diagnosed, but he is a posted child for the still hyperactive adult...hmmm...wonder where I got it). So many people have this stupid idea about what a boss is supposed to be. It was clear that in these people's minds', the Boss is the person that's supposed to be organized and in charge so the rest of us have the luxury of acting like babies and waiting for someone to wipe our asses for us so that we can blame them when things don't work instead of ourselves, right? That's the kind of employees he has had. For years. And it makes me sick. The boss is the boss, period. And decide what the boss IS or IS NOT is not really in your job description. Just DO the job that was clearly explained to you when you were hired!
Whether or not you are enlightened to the charms of ADHD, if the Boss is an idea person, then be the detail person! You can sit there bitching all day about how the Boss isn't what you think the Boss should be and be miserable, or you can just get the job done. I'm not saying people should just unquestioningly bow to authority...I'm the biggest authority questioner there is...and I don't kiss asses when I don't agree. I have given many bosses a piece of my mind when I feel they have asked me to push lines of ethics/morals or performance that I simply do not agree with. But I "get" my dad and how he operates, and I also accept that he just isn't certain things. And guess what...it's HIS business and he signs the paychecks, so who gives a crap...and if you don't feel like it's a good fit for you? LEAVE! You know, like a big kid!
Just to clarify what we've been dealing with here, an example. I believe the oft-quote refrain was "That's not my job.". Um...you're a chef...and uh...that's food...and uh...the food has to be prepared for human consumption so...I guess it's probably your job? Or perhaps you would like to wash a floor, because every individual in the shop is supposed to assist with cleaning on a daily basis...oh...wait, you sort of forgot that this was specifically laid out when you began working here...uh...okay. OHOHOH, I know, what about helping guests select food options for their events because you know, you went to chef school to learn that because that's something that chef's are trained to do...oh...you're more comfortable glaring at customers and making sure that they know that you hate them...great. Why are you here again? Funny how when you keep telling people what your job isn't...and all of those things fit the description of the job you were hired to do...you get fired! Oh...you missed the memo about how when you work in a small business you need to be adaptable and responsive to pretty much anything that could come up? Oh. Well good luck in the real world where most chefs are way bitchier, meaner and full of themselves than my father, and you'll probably get your legs chewed off.
I just go in and do whatever it is that needs to be done to make the big picture happen, and that's what I have done for several days because we have had to create a bubble around dad, because he looked like he was going to keel over, and the business cannot operate without him. I do the same thing for my boss at the law office, because I "get" HIS ADHD work habits (or lack thereof) too. (Plus, I have my OWN businesses where I can be the boss, so I don't need to be the boss of them.) I feel very protective of them both and it makes me very upset to see lazy, self-centered, judgmental people hurt them by doing a half-assed job, and then blaming "The Boss" for it.
My father is an extremely talented and award-winning pastry chef. My boss is an extremely intelligent attorney, and a nationally known trailblazer in his area of the law. And both of them have to deal with these fuckers who can only see the ADHD, and can't appreciate their stunning talents. These people should feel grateful for the chance to learn something from them, to have their minds opened by exposure to individuals who literally make people see the world in new ways (and not just me, haha). But they don't...and they actively work to make their lives harder instead.
It hurts me to see people so lacking understanding of people who biochemically...are just like me. There but for the grace of God go I. Seeing people treat them that way makes me angry, it makes me sad, it makes me afraid that people see ME that way...it also makes me delight that I might be able to give these jerks a reference down the road and go "nope, would NEVER hire this person again, not for a million dollars and a one way ticket to fame and fortune".
I'm not always terrific at consistency with being the detail person myself, but at least I "get" the big picture and can delegate to make sure the job is done. And both dad AND the attorney get that, and appreciate my help, because they know I won't let them fall on their asses.
I know I don't want to keep myself from my own achievements by trying to save my fellow ADHDers...but...in my heart I know that I would rather clean 1000 toilets and floors for my father if it makes his heart less heavy to come work in the morning in a clean shop. And I would rather draft 1000 boring motions for my lawyer boss...than spend one minute wasting my time working for anyone with the small minds of these idiots. At least they're all fired or quit now so we don't have to deal with them anymore. And we'll work to hire new people, so that me, and mom and sis can get back to crafting our own dreams.
Clean slate. Heavy heart...
Is this what people think of us? And do I CARE? Yes, yes I do care. And that's part of why I have this blog, and why I am VERY open about my ADHD with people.
Because I refuse to let the perceptions of these kind of asshats shape public opinion of people like me.
Some people need to grow a work ethic and get over themselves.
I understand that he can be baffling to work for, precisely because he has ADHD. (he is not diagnosed, but he is a posted child for the still hyperactive adult...hmmm...wonder where I got it). So many people have this stupid idea about what a boss is supposed to be. It was clear that in these people's minds', the Boss is the person that's supposed to be organized and in charge so the rest of us have the luxury of acting like babies and waiting for someone to wipe our asses for us so that we can blame them when things don't work instead of ourselves, right? That's the kind of employees he has had. For years. And it makes me sick. The boss is the boss, period. And decide what the boss IS or IS NOT is not really in your job description. Just DO the job that was clearly explained to you when you were hired!
Whether or not you are enlightened to the charms of ADHD, if the Boss is an idea person, then be the detail person! You can sit there bitching all day about how the Boss isn't what you think the Boss should be and be miserable, or you can just get the job done. I'm not saying people should just unquestioningly bow to authority...I'm the biggest authority questioner there is...and I don't kiss asses when I don't agree. I have given many bosses a piece of my mind when I feel they have asked me to push lines of ethics/morals or performance that I simply do not agree with. But I "get" my dad and how he operates, and I also accept that he just isn't certain things. And guess what...it's HIS business and he signs the paychecks, so who gives a crap...and if you don't feel like it's a good fit for you? LEAVE! You know, like a big kid!
Just to clarify what we've been dealing with here, an example. I believe the oft-quote refrain was "That's not my job.". Um...you're a chef...and uh...that's food...and uh...the food has to be prepared for human consumption so...I guess it's probably your job? Or perhaps you would like to wash a floor, because every individual in the shop is supposed to assist with cleaning on a daily basis...oh...wait, you sort of forgot that this was specifically laid out when you began working here...uh...okay. OHOHOH, I know, what about helping guests select food options for their events because you know, you went to chef school to learn that because that's something that chef's are trained to do...oh...you're more comfortable glaring at customers and making sure that they know that you hate them...great. Why are you here again? Funny how when you keep telling people what your job isn't...and all of those things fit the description of the job you were hired to do...you get fired! Oh...you missed the memo about how when you work in a small business you need to be adaptable and responsive to pretty much anything that could come up? Oh. Well good luck in the real world where most chefs are way bitchier, meaner and full of themselves than my father, and you'll probably get your legs chewed off.
I just go in and do whatever it is that needs to be done to make the big picture happen, and that's what I have done for several days because we have had to create a bubble around dad, because he looked like he was going to keel over, and the business cannot operate without him. I do the same thing for my boss at the law office, because I "get" HIS ADHD work habits (or lack thereof) too. (Plus, I have my OWN businesses where I can be the boss, so I don't need to be the boss of them.) I feel very protective of them both and it makes me very upset to see lazy, self-centered, judgmental people hurt them by doing a half-assed job, and then blaming "The Boss" for it.
My father is an extremely talented and award-winning pastry chef. My boss is an extremely intelligent attorney, and a nationally known trailblazer in his area of the law. And both of them have to deal with these fuckers who can only see the ADHD, and can't appreciate their stunning talents. These people should feel grateful for the chance to learn something from them, to have their minds opened by exposure to individuals who literally make people see the world in new ways (and not just me, haha). But they don't...and they actively work to make their lives harder instead.
It hurts me to see people so lacking understanding of people who biochemically...are just like me. There but for the grace of God go I. Seeing people treat them that way makes me angry, it makes me sad, it makes me afraid that people see ME that way...it also makes me delight that I might be able to give these jerks a reference down the road and go "nope, would NEVER hire this person again, not for a million dollars and a one way ticket to fame and fortune".
I'm not always terrific at consistency with being the detail person myself, but at least I "get" the big picture and can delegate to make sure the job is done. And both dad AND the attorney get that, and appreciate my help, because they know I won't let them fall on their asses.
I know I don't want to keep myself from my own achievements by trying to save my fellow ADHDers...but...in my heart I know that I would rather clean 1000 toilets and floors for my father if it makes his heart less heavy to come work in the morning in a clean shop. And I would rather draft 1000 boring motions for my lawyer boss...than spend one minute wasting my time working for anyone with the small minds of these idiots. At least they're all fired or quit now so we don't have to deal with them anymore. And we'll work to hire new people, so that me, and mom and sis can get back to crafting our own dreams.
Clean slate. Heavy heart...
Is this what people think of us? And do I CARE? Yes, yes I do care. And that's part of why I have this blog, and why I am VERY open about my ADHD with people.
Because I refuse to let the perceptions of these kind of asshats shape public opinion of people like me.
Some people need to grow a work ethic and get over themselves.
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