Sunday, May 17, 2009

Day 8, with Mr. Strattera

We've taken to referring to the Strattera, in this house, as "Mr. Strattera, the crazy Italian". As in "I have another date with Mr. Strattera, the crazy Italian" and my boyfriend says "Say hello to him for me..." with a very bad, stereotypical Italian accent. It's too soon to tell if he's doing what he's supposed to be doing to my brain, but he seems to be busy anyway. Day one he was busy hitting me upside the head with a crazy Italian baseball bat of anxiety. Since then, side effects and effects have ranged from paralyzing to motivating. The NP says I'm apparently "sensitive to the medication". Um. Yeah...pretty much.

Ironically, Strattera is the drug they give you if you have ADHD accompanied by symptoms of anxiety. It's supposed to give you focus, without exacerbating your existing anxiety. One of the initial potential side effects at the beginning anxiety. Mean trick. Though when he's not torturing me with anxiety (like so many bad boyfriends before him), I feel interestingly calm, my mind refreshingly still. It will take several weeks to determine if the crazy Italian is the "right guy" for my brain. Here on Day 8 though, things seem to be going in a decent direction. I am at peace with the fact that this process will take time and I think I can stick out the rough patches.

The therapist and the NP have both given me the homework to "practice focusing on the really boring stuff and see what happens". Well the other day I did just that and got a 6-month old backlog of work done. Holy cannoli Mr. Strattera! Keep this up and I'll be moving the boyfriend out and YOU in, full time.

And I'm only on Day 8.

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