Sometimes it's gray, deep, pervasive and melacholy.
It's easy for me to write about anxiety and ADHD. It is not easy to write about depression. And so I don't.
I think I avoid writing about it for two reasons. First...the desire to isolate is a symptom. Second...holy crap, sometimes my list making annoys even me...SECOND...when you are hoping something will just go away, you really don't want to dwell on it. For me, depression usually goes away, eventually...so I alternate retreating into it and ignoring it.
It's not going away this time. Not yet anyway.
Don't worry...I have mental health professionals. I've already talked to them and I'll talk to them again at dates that have already been determined. I'll be fine. I'm generally quite resilient. I know this, and I remind myself frequently.
I am making myself write this because isolating is probably the worst thing to do. Because others know what this feels like and when you feel this way the only thing worse than desiring isolation, is feeling like you are alone.
You're not. I'm not. And it's not forever even if it feels that way right now.
It's easy for me to write about anxiety and ADHD. It is not easy to write about depression. And so I don't.
I think I avoid writing about it for two reasons. First...the desire to isolate is a symptom. Second...holy crap, sometimes my list making annoys even me...SECOND...when you are hoping something will just go away, you really don't want to dwell on it. For me, depression usually goes away, eventually...so I alternate retreating into it and ignoring it.
It's not going away this time. Not yet anyway.
Don't worry...I have mental health professionals. I've already talked to them and I'll talk to them again at dates that have already been determined. I'll be fine. I'm generally quite resilient. I know this, and I remind myself frequently.
I am making myself write this because isolating is probably the worst thing to do. Because others know what this feels like and when you feel this way the only thing worse than desiring isolation, is feeling like you are alone.
You're not. I'm not. And it's not forever even if it feels that way right now.
Been there, for sure, and will undoubtedly be there again. You're definitely not alone -- you've got a big wide internets rooting for you!
ReplyDeleteAs do you Sheepy, as do you :)
ReplyDeleteDepression sucks. It truly does and it is so bad because the desire to isolate is such a huge part of it, but when you do isolate you only end up feeling worse and feeling lonely and feeling lonely and worse only makes you want to isolate more.its awful, but please always remember and this is something i tell myself constantly that you are not alone and that you are loved...immensely.
ReplyDeleteWhat more can I say guys? Just that so many of us needlessly suffer in silence because we cannot bring ourselves to admit to anyone including our closest family and friends that we have depression. It took me years to make that call.
ReplyDeleteBut once done, it was never as difficult again.
There is immense love out there (and here :)
Never ever suffer alone
Greg
Amen brutha...
ReplyDeleteDepression sneaks up on me at the worst times! And yes, it usually passes as quickly as it moves in but the interim is, well, poopy. :D It's in these times that I would like to slap the well-meaning friend/family/neighbor who says, "Just cheer up!".
ReplyDelete