...it's no small undertaking, being an adult with ADHD and having the responsibility of creating and upholding consistent routines for small children.
It's not impossible, it's just a little extra challenging.
But we do it every day...we put the kids to bed at the same time every night...and they get up at the same time in the morning, and they have three square meals at the same times every day, and snacks in between, and then we do it all over again. And me and Sonny Rollins aka "Daddy" always make sure to check in with each other about what "the plan" for the day is, so we are both on the same page, and have the same rules for the same things.
I just had a revelation though. I have a little obsession with "setting the re-set button". Long-time readers may recognize my term for setting things in order before going to bed, in order to minimize chaos the next day. In the case of step-parenting, that means things like straightening up the house so it's tidy in the morning, clearing dishes and making sure the kitchen is tidy (they are a little young to be responsible for this on their own...although the oldest is starting to learn)...generally making the house feel orderly and if not perfect, at least tidy and sane before we all go to bed.
Occasionally I get a little anal-retentive though about related, but possibly unnecessary issues. Like shutting off all of the noise in the house for dinner time.
I suddenly realized today, that I hadn't listened to NPR for a while. Before I moved in with Sonny and the kids, I used to listen to the news on the radio all the time. Especially when trying to be productive work on projects at night-time, etc.
Today, while "re-setting" the kitchen, I noticed the radio on the counter and turned it on...sometimes I do need quiet, silent time, but sometimes I need that extra stimulation for my brain to keep being productive.
Um...duh...maybe a little extra "stimulation" in the environment would be a little more comfy for my fellow ADHD residents of the house?
Hmmm...so I left the NPR on during dinner. The kids were quiet, polite, and ate well.
Hmmmmm. So, I will continue to "re-set" the house, but I think that from time to time, if people are feeling a little rambunctious (and they were today), I may continue to pull that trick out of my own dealing with ADHD playbook, and give the home-space a little shot of innocuous noise to make up for the collective dopamine insufficiency :)
I have to remember that while I it IS important to set a good example, and keep things orderly, that sometimes ADHD or just plain young brains need unconventional touches to make everything seem truly soothing and homey.