Friday, January 22, 2010

Being Proactive Without Driving Other People Nuts

Of course many of us with ADHD have issues with certain kinds of follow through issues and remembering issues. Oh the joy.

So I have some ways that I deal with these things...for example, I try to either do things right when I remember them or at least create an effective reminder for myself to make sure it's done later. Or I make sure to get a TON of work done when I'm "on" so that I don't screw myself when I'm having an "off" day.

I try to consolidate a lot of things in my life too...for example, I will send a landlord a stack of signed checks for the term of a lease so that I don't have to forget to send a single check every month. Or, if I have the money, I will actually pay chunks of rent at a time...right now I don't need to pay rent on my apartment until March because I already paid three months in advance. (You then have to set a reminder to actually then PAY it in March!)

However...sometimes people don't "get" these things. The person I pay my work studio rent to, for example, was utterly baffled as to why I would want to pay the rent for the entire remainder of the lease now, so we got into a mini-standoff of her saying "no, you can just pay me each month" and me responding "right, but I have the money now, so I'll just pay you now"...until I finally just said " Ah...I try to pay things in chunks to eliminate repetitive tasks and make sure things are done when they need to be done. If it's truly not convenient for you, that's okay, but if it IS, it would be much better for me to pay you now.". That did the trick.

However, there ARE times when our "accommodation" isn't reasonable for others to have to put up with. This wasn't one of those times. But it's good to remember in the back of your brain that the world won't always work the way you want it to, even when YOU are in fact having the best of intentions...

1 comment:

  1. Good intentions are something that can be(apperently)very disturbing to some people. And will sometimes cause me to make others feel like I am trying to make them look stupid, when I feel like I have to stop and explain why I am prepairing for the obvious task that will be necessary later, in order to same time.

    In other words,me saying: "So I don't have to stop what I am doing Dad, and run out to my truck, and spend 30 min.s looking for something I won't need if I do this right now."

    Thats just an example of how that goes at work. Same thing happens at home, at a friends home etc.....