I pretty much have a mushroom cloud housed within my cranium right now, oh yes I do. It's just repeatedly imploding, a sickening, dense mixture of the seemingly unlimited factors pressing in on my patience right now. I snapped about 10 minutes ago and suddenly became a hunched over ball in front of my computer screen, holding my head and breathing heavily (and not in the sexy way). I am beyond verbal right now, I am officially post-verbal, beyond the kind of descriptive language that comes from a mouth because there is none for this feeling. In the last three minutes I seem to have regained my ability to type, oh boy, lucky you, insert sarcasm right here.
My boyfriend quietly left the room several minutes ago because I think he anticipated an impending verbal massacre of some kind. If I was able to speak right now I would reassure him that I'm so far past caring if anyone else is around, that no blunt force language shall fly this evening.
If this was me of 10 years ago, there might have been a tantrum. There might have been a fight. There might have been a late night walk-run in the night-time of the universe. But right now...
Right now...
This is too much. This is too much. This is too much. Whatever it is, it's too much.
My boyfriend quietly left the room several minutes ago because I think he anticipated an impending verbal massacre of some kind. If I was able to speak right now I would reassure him that I'm so far past caring if anyone else is around, that no blunt force language shall fly this evening.
If this was me of 10 years ago, there might have been a tantrum. There might have been a fight. There might have been a late night walk-run in the night-time of the universe. But right now...
Right now...
This is too much. This is too much. This is too much. Whatever it is, it's too much.
:( Hope the overwhelmingness passes as soon as possible.
ReplyDeleteHeh, no more mushroom cloud. Just a layer of ash :)
ReplyDeleteThese real moments are real.
ReplyDeleteI've been having them, too. Not exactly the same thing, but I do relate. You have a right to have your feelings. I'm glad that you didn't blow up. (((Hugs)))!
Nancy...sometimes these moments are way too real, lol but losing your shit is good for letting off some steam right? :) The safety valve can only take so much...!
ReplyDelete