Monday, January 11, 2010

Why waste your waking hours...

...being a pessimistic jackass. Seriously. I'm not talking about people with legit clinical depression (though certainly, making the effort to think positively in that instance won't hurt!).

I'm talking about people who go through their days actively thinking the worst about people. Saying the worst about people. Doing the worst to others. And just plain thinking of the world as a hostile environment. If there's one thing I'm learning this year, it's that even I have limited energy, and I need to honor that. What better way to honor it than by engaging in filling my minutes with positive thinking? And I DO have so many things to be grateful for every day. I'm not talking about being unrealistically optimistic, but there's a long path between that, and choosing to be negative. I also truly believe that you reap what you sow.

I am working on a project right now that's really presenting unnecessary and uninvited challenge my positive thinking program. I won't go into the details, other than to say that it is an event I am coordinating in my community. And because I'm the overall organizer and point person, I'm the one that all communication is coming through to, as it should be. As such, unfortunately I am the only one seeing a very strange, and disheartening phenomenon.

It's so persistent and offensive that I feel I need to address the group about it, in general terms, after we've gotten this project all wrapped up, but right now, I just need to figure out how to get it all done.

Every time I start to work on the project, and initiate conversations that I have to initiate, I get bombarded with gossip, anger, and nastiness directed at others in the group. There's a few strange issues here...first of all, why do any of them assume that I am a neutral party? I mean...I am, because I'm not about to go spreading this stuff around, but...what if I wasn't?

Second...can they honestly say that this behavior has served them? I am privy to more information about the situation than I can actually share here, but trust me when I say that the answer is no. In fact I would bet money that it's been a major factor impeding progress for a long time.

Third...I'm an event planner and I'm good at what I do, and I have a proven track record. How have I built that track record? By cooperating with others and being positive. But there's no selling that point to this crowd. I have been informed that I "just don't understand how people work" and "you can't do (insert positive action here) here in this town" even though I do know a lot about how people work, and in many cases I have already done whatever it is they're telling me is impossible.

Fourth...I don't actually care what your history is with the person you are spitting venom about. I'm not into reinventing the wheel, but I also feel that I have a right to forge my own relationship with the others in the group, without having to choke on your personal vendettas in the process.

Fifth, from a purely practical perspective, this has been a huge waste of time and this is really my primary frustration. All I need from them are yeses or nos and what I'm getting is "do you KNOW what THAT person DID TO ME?" or "you can't trust people, and let me tell you why...". As an ADHDer already working to manage their time effectively, this is just pure aggravation. I don't care who screwed who or when, or how, or why you're a fruitcake that thinks I need to know these things. I just need to talk to 20 people in the next three hours and just spent one hour listening to one angry person vent stuff that doesn't matter.

And so...I am sitting here formulating a plan to move forward with. Because unfortunately this is indeed a case of a simple, positive plan getting derailed by negative insanity.

For the sake of the project, I can't allow that to happen.

I am peering through the reeds of this swamp for the simplest path.

I'm committed to finding it.

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