There's a lot of talk about how men and women seek and find everything from information, to food to partners. I often wonder how many people fit into "one" category or "the other". Is it normal for people to truly do one or the other? In many ways I am more hunter than gatherer...in still other ways I've been accused of being "a total dude". But I find myself wondering if the sometimes atypical ways I hunt and gather things have more to do with ADHD than anything gender related.
Let's take shopping for example. I really prefer shopping trips with a specific purpose. Oh, when I was a teenager I enjoyed thrift store vintage clothes shopping...there was no time limit and there was really not a big dollar amount limit because it was before anyone gave a crap about vintage clothing so I would score awesome vintage for insanely low prices. There was also the social purpose of hanging out with friends and THAT probably had more to do with my enjoyment of it than anything.
Because I really kinda hate shopping. Options. Too many. Lights, too bright. People, toooo annoying. I like bringing my sister because she will get impatient with me (can't decide...too hard!) and either try to break down my choices into bite sized bits or simply get so annoyed that her annoyance compels me to decide something. When there's a purpose at least I can go "okay, I'm looking for black pants...oh look there's only two pairs of those..." so I can agonize over only two pairs, what a relief...I notice everything and enjoy nothing and can easily go into a store and have 800 options in the cart and come out with none because I simply get irritated with all of the options and decide that none of them are worth the effort.
It probably good that I feel that way...I mean it keeps me from having the money spending issues that some ADHDers have. It does keep me from enjoying it much though.
One time my sister got really annoyed because I had to mull over every aspect of two pairs of black knee socks...for...oh, probably 45 minutes. Argh. I was thinking about the fiber content...then I was thinking about manufacturing processes. Then I was thinking about whether they would fade. Then I was thinking about if they would slide down--did they have enough elastic? And were they really thin enough to fit under my dress boots? And are the textiles from a renewable resource? And on and on and on...and back around the loop...a few times...while my sister had been around the whole store and was now staring at me with like 8 pairs of socks for herself in her hand...uhhh...then I was looking at her socks and thinking all the same things...and....finally did pick some socks...there were just so many things to think about. I know it sounds kinda OCD but really I just didn't like having all of those options, and none of the options was quite right anyway, which was a problem because then neither of them was really what I wanted...so I had to decide between them....
I wrote that, and then re-read it...man, that sounds pretty screwed up! But that's how it goes...
So I don't know that I hunt OR gather, it's more like I can't quite do either and get annoyed that the process just isn't that clear for me.
Let's take shopping for example. I really prefer shopping trips with a specific purpose. Oh, when I was a teenager I enjoyed thrift store vintage clothes shopping...there was no time limit and there was really not a big dollar amount limit because it was before anyone gave a crap about vintage clothing so I would score awesome vintage for insanely low prices. There was also the social purpose of hanging out with friends and THAT probably had more to do with my enjoyment of it than anything.
Because I really kinda hate shopping. Options. Too many. Lights, too bright. People, toooo annoying. I like bringing my sister because she will get impatient with me (can't decide...too hard!) and either try to break down my choices into bite sized bits or simply get so annoyed that her annoyance compels me to decide something. When there's a purpose at least I can go "okay, I'm looking for black pants...oh look there's only two pairs of those..." so I can agonize over only two pairs, what a relief...I notice everything and enjoy nothing and can easily go into a store and have 800 options in the cart and come out with none because I simply get irritated with all of the options and decide that none of them are worth the effort.
It probably good that I feel that way...I mean it keeps me from having the money spending issues that some ADHDers have. It does keep me from enjoying it much though.
One time my sister got really annoyed because I had to mull over every aspect of two pairs of black knee socks...for...oh, probably 45 minutes. Argh. I was thinking about the fiber content...then I was thinking about manufacturing processes. Then I was thinking about whether they would fade. Then I was thinking about if they would slide down--did they have enough elastic? And were they really thin enough to fit under my dress boots? And are the textiles from a renewable resource? And on and on and on...and back around the loop...a few times...while my sister had been around the whole store and was now staring at me with like 8 pairs of socks for herself in her hand...uhhh...then I was looking at her socks and thinking all the same things...and....finally did pick some socks...there were just so many things to think about. I know it sounds kinda OCD but really I just didn't like having all of those options, and none of the options was quite right anyway, which was a problem because then neither of them was really what I wanted...so I had to decide between them....
I wrote that, and then re-read it...man, that sounds pretty screwed up! But that's how it goes...
So I don't know that I hunt OR gather, it's more like I can't quite do either and get annoyed that the process just isn't that clear for me.
"I wrote that, and then re-read it...man, that sounds pretty screwed up! But that's how it goes..."
ReplyDeleteI don't know.... I have a feeling you'd inspired a more rigorous thought process for the next time I buy socks! Then maybe I wouldn't have so many I don't quite like, making it difficult to open and close my sock drawer. ;-)
Well...such careful analysis DOES have its benefits Gina ;) Yesterday I did end up buying...11 pairs of new socks, which for me is a BIG deal. I'm not one to just buy socks. And I discovered that Target has an "organic" socks line made from organic cotton AND, even more fun, they had socks made from bamboo!
ReplyDeleteThe real question though is if I got my homework done yesterday...and I did not. But I now know the fiber content of all the socks at Target.
Interestingly, this was my first "post meds" sock shopping trip...but the one day out of the last million that I haven't taken the stimulant. Next time, I'm going to do it with the stimulant and see how I do...I'll probably come out with 26 pairs because I won't be bogged down with the details, haha....god, it's so embarrassing looking at the things my brain gets stuck on sometimes...