Sunday, November 13, 2011

every day is like sunday

Sunday. The day when many (I'd dare to to say most) American families attend to matters of routine that prepare them for the week ahead. In our house, this process is often fraught with a sense of urgency:

a) because we are damned busy most of the time
b) because when the kids aren't here we have to get as much done as we can before they come back and we won't be able to operate as efficiently
c) if the kids ARE here we have to figure out how to get everything done while of course attending to the things kids need, you know eating, homework, behavior modification (...did you just THROW the cat?!)
d) if we don't get a least half of "To-Do Mountain" pounded out before the week officially begins we are screwed...laundry (piles taller than my husband), cleaning AND sanitizing (why is that doorknob sticky?), animal care (who crapped in the laundry room?!), that sort of thing.

And now, with the PURCHASE OF A NEW HOME officially under our belts, we have added, cleaning a second household, shellacking, priming, painting, spackling, plastering, sanding packing and unpacking to our repertoire.

Having completed today's demented obstacle course to the finish line I find myself musing. Here are some of those musings:

1) Why is that I cannot remember to feed the cats at the same time every day, but I CAN remember to remind the girl that it's time for her to feed the cats.

2) Why did my 5-year-old stepson yell "LOOK! It's a MINI PERSON!" after spotting his first "little person" this afternoon? We discussed proper nomenclature for future use.

3) Why do all home improvement tasks take exactly 4 times longer than anticipated and why don't we learn to just factor this into the tasks in advance?

4) Why did the adult with ADHD cross the road? Duh, to...

5) Why do people bother to substitute the phrase "See You Next Tuesday" for that know, THAT word...that word that so many people seem to be offended by that they have to come up with dumb phrases to replace it, and the replacement phrase is so gaudy that it creates more hubbub than the word itself...I'd rather just say cunt and get it over with <-----there, I said it.

6) More people should use words like "f'realsies".

7) Why am I so reassured by lists? I love a good bulleted, numbered list. And I hate outlines.

8) It's not that Sunday is more work-filled than any other day, it's just that certain tasks require attention on that day. Each day of the week is a hamster wheel unto itself.

So let's hear it for unnatural conclusions. Let's hear it for Sunday.

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