Tuesday, January 11, 2011

I've taken a radical position: being myself

I'm gently settled into my new job, like a fresh snowflake. A lacy newcomer, perched on the efforts of the snowflakes who have come before me. About to be squished into the history of this place, by a blizzard of new demands.

But all winter metaphors aside, this is a very ADHD friendly workplace, at least for MY version of ADHD.

I had another potential job before this, that I decided not to continue the interview process on...after seeing that I would be working in a room with 10 other people, all talking on the phone, all day long, all facing each other, with no escape, and with fluorescent overhead lighting splashed over the whole shebang like too much oily salad dressing. I was very interested in the job, so I panicked a little when I saw that the workplace was extremely inappropriate to my work-needs quirks. I told myself that this was a chance for me to try something new: picking an environment to fit ME, rather than shaping myself to the environment. It's good to be flexible, but I ALWAYS put myself in that position, which means that I often put myself in situations where I may be able to improve the situation for others, but I am often stressing myself out, trying to fit in boxes I shouldn't be forcing myself to squish into, no matter how superior my contortionist skills.

For many years I have been a human pretzel, worrying that if I don't fill this role, I will never have a job, or never be needed, or...that I'll simply get bored because I won't be working so hard to "be" something I shouldn't have to be.

This time I drew a line around myself and vowed to honor that boundary.

Our office: shared office, but we all have our own workspace. Everybody likes having the overhead lights off for a significant portion of the day. And...nobody minds if I have headphones on at times when I need to focus. So I have the stimulation of a few people around, but the option to engage...and no blaring fluoresecents throughout the day. This is PERFECT for me.

I have the freedom to work independently but I have to work within the boundaries of an 8:30 to 5:30 work day. This little nod to structure is actually helpful.

I was hired for my creativity.

I have a boss who is available for questions and who is interested in my ideas.

We work in a big, beautiful victorian mansion that is aesthetically pleasing to exist within.

We adapt to the formality of the situation at hand...when we need to be "business" we are business, when we need to dress to move furniture, we dress to move furniture.

My primary business is: engaging people in what we do. I'm good at that. Really good at that.

I feel like I fit here just the way I am.


  1. Yes...This is most important...We are subjective...We can make our own day a Heaven or a Hell... You have to "Float Your Own Boat".you

  2. yay! good to hear things are working out for you.

  3. This is fantastic!! You've made monumental leaps in understanding your condition and you've done the most difficult thing: you did what is right FOR YOU!! Bravo!!

    My best to you, Sonny and the kids!